It has been years since I promised my ex that I will go down on him because he took care of my 3 days 2 nights vacation in Cebu City, Philippines. My Ex who had bitter/ugly break up with me. We dated few years ago, sometime in 2008. We had an ugly break up. We exchanged bitter words. We were at war.
But around 2 or 3 years after we broke up, we crossed paths again.
He started talking to me again. He started to be nice and all. We became friends but I know he only wanted to become friends with me because he wants me back (Yes, I am that confident.
). Back then, I also felt that he only wanted to get me to bed and have sex with me. But unfortunately for him, I no longer have the hots for him anymore.
We became friends again, we started talking, texting. Back then, his work required him to travel around the country. He told me that he will spend the weekend in Cebu, the city where we met. The city where it all started. He invited me and promised me that I won't spend a cent. He will take of the hotel accommodation and food and everything. I agreed and in exchange for his kindness, I promised that we will have sex. I promised him that because I felt that that was the only thing he wanted from me.
We went to Cebu city. He took care and paid for everything. On our first night, we went out. We had dinner; it was like a date but not really. Just friends on a night out. On our first night, he already asked for the sex that I promised him but I declined. I said I was too tired. I haven't slept yet since we arrived in the city and I no longer had the energy to do anything. I said we'll do it in the morning. Morning came but he didn't
. He asked for it again but I just cuddled with him and then I said I was hungry and I can't do it when I'm hungry. We had breakfast and after we stuffed ourselves with food, he had to go to work. He had no time so he left for work. I was free to go anywhere. I went out and met my long time (old) friend, Kendrea Kelly. I was out the whole day and night. When I went back to the hotel late at night, he was still awake. He waited for me and he probably expected that he'll get lucky that night but he didn't. I told him that I walked the whole day and I drank a little bit. I was tired to do it and I just wanted to sleep. I did not promise him that we'll do it in the morning but I said we'll do it when we get back to Manila.
Fast forward to the present. I still haven't given him the sex that I promised. We are still friends now. We communicate through Facebook. We text. We even went out and went to a bar but only once. Since our trip, he has repeatedly asked if he can visit me at home. I have repeatedly said no but told him we can still go out. Watch a movie or have dinner. It never happened. We never went out again. Every time he asks me out, he wants to pick me up at home which I have always refused and I insisted that I'll meet him somewhere else. There were times that he asked if he can sleep at my place, I said no. I have work, I was busy but the truth is, I don't want him in my house. I am afraid that he might do something and he might force me to have sex, he might rape me. (I have proof that he will do it
I don't think I still want to sleep with my ex. He is not ugly. Actually he is good looking. He is nice. He has a lot "admirers". Other people find him hot and I find him Fat
. He used to be fat when we dated years ago but he already lost the weight now. Still, for me he's FAT
. He is rich and successful. He has 3 cars. He is a good friend and friendship is the only thing that I can give him. We had an ugly breakup and it was his fault. I have forgiven him but I haven't forgotten it, I never will. He had me once before and he's not going to have me back. Not even if it's just for sex. I know I promised him it but promises are meant to be broken.
I don't sleep with my friends. Well, not unless that friend is Jake McDorman
Until now, I still feel that he wants me. Because one time, I confronted him about his current partner, he denied it. I know he's committed but he couldn't tell me the truth because he knows I am not the second rate-kabit type. We still talk. I bully him. I get flirty with him because I know he still wants me. I'm so mean because I am enjoying it.
Am I unfair? Should I give him what he wants? Should I do my part of our deal?